*stirs up the stars*

"What if you thiiink someone's a Christian? They might not act like it ALL the time but what if you're pretty sure they ARE a Christian? Do you still share the Gosple with them?"
"So you're assuming someone IS a Christian but there is still some doubt, right?"
"Right."
"I'll explain this way: lets pretend there's a boy who all of a sudden needs emergency surgery because he was in a car accident. The doctors ASSUME he isn't allergic to the anesthetic and go ahead and dose him. All of a sudden he starts going into convulsions. And he dies. Right there. Because the doctors assumed he wasn't allergic. Then the parents sue the doctors. The end.
So you see? Never assume someone is a Christian. In fact, don't assume anything ever. Always be certain."

To be

Once upon a time, there was a girl: Magenta.
And ever since Magenta was little, she wanted to be an air plane. Because air planes could fly and go where ever they want and take whoever they want.
One day, when Magenta was 6, she asked her mom, "mom, why can't I be an air plane? Why wasn't I MADE an air plane since that's what I REALLY want to be?" And her mother said, "well, God made you as a girl. But He knew you would want to be an air plane, so He created you with a HUGE imagination so you can preteeeend to be an air plane. You can pretend to be an air plane all you want. You can sing about air planes. You can dream about air planes and pretend to fly like an air plane. But no matter how much you pretend or act or dream about or wish, you'll always be a girl."
So Magenta lived with those words in her heart: no matter how much you try to be something you're not or something you want to be, you will STILL always be what you were originally made to be.

I. Am not. Your. Fool.

That deep burning, acidic feeling in the pit of your stomach that hurts but grows and grows because you can't control your anger.
That moment when your emotions bottle up and boil and gurgle so much you think your head will pop off.
When you're so angry your feet feel plastered to the floor and you crumble and sit there and cry and wish SOMEONE would understand.
That haunting moment of disbelief that's followed by shock and frustration and hurt-angry-feelings.
When you finally decide not to care about that person's anger towards you.
When all you want is to sit down with that person. And talk. And say EVERYTHING. And not be afraidto say it. And want to say it. And to HAVE. THEM. UNDERSTAND.

My Beautiful Rescue.

Once upon a LONG time ago, there was a flower. A daisy to be exact. And ever since Daisy could remember, she had been friends with the Mommy Wind. But to Daisy, the Mommy Wind was always more like the Sun. Because without Sun, flowers can't live. Daisy NEEDS Sun. DaisylovesSun. So, one day, Mommy Wind gave Daisy the Wind. She said "Daisy, you need the Wind. Daisies need Wind to grow. So, be friends." So, Daisy and Wind were friends. But "Friends" is an understatement and "sisters" doesn't fit. Daisy and Wind needed each other. They were MADE for each other. They were Tailor Made. So, as time went on, Daisy heard of Wind's best friend, a River. Because the Wind and a River just GO together. Like bedforts and a cars cape-blanket. They went together like THAT. And so, Daisy started creeping on this River thinking "Daisies need water to grow. Water comes from Rivers." (Water is River's love) One night, when Mommy Wind and Wind and Daisy were at Daisy's garden, River came over too! And River said to Daisy "I think you're like my new best friend." But, best friend was the wrong term entirely. Because ACTUALLY, they were Soul Sisters. It's like a mix of being sisters and being friends with someone who seems unreal because they're that one person who you never knew you needed until you met them.
And they were all together. And they loved each other. And the made each other ok. And they understood. And they laughed. And they loved.
As beautiful as it would be to say "The End" the story doesn't stop here.
Everyday, Mommy Wind, Daisy, Wind, and River live an adventure called life. Sometimes they're broken. Sometimes they're lost. Sometimes they spill their coffee. Sometimes they lose themselves. Sometimes they sit in their bedfort and cry. Sometimes they accidently let bugs into their Room. Sometimes they're stalked. Sometimes they make people angry and they don't know it.
But sometimes, they're happy. Because when they're together, they're ok. Because they have each other. They love each other.
There IS no end.

2 AM

When I'm myself again I'll know because:
-I'll spend hours outside looking for bugs. Then once I find some, I'll spend even longer observing them.
-I won't ever care about the way my hair looks.
-I won't be afraid of doing flips or handsprings on the trampoline or off the diving board.
-I won't be ashamed of my scars, bruises or scabs.
-I won't hesitate to touch things other people are afraid to touch or pick up things other people are afraid to pick up. Like frogs.
-I won't be afraid to tell people things.
*continues later*

Be ok.

Being ok is like this:
-One step forward, three steps back.
-Two steps forward, seven steps back.
-Standing still.
I'm afraid to be ok. Because once i'm ok, something tragic happens. It seems like i'm not allowed to be ok. So, i'll stop trying. Tragic always hurts more when being ok.
It's like this: Sometimes, when you're out on the Ocean, you're on a boat. Sometimes, the boat swims really really fast. Basically flying over the water. Then, it hits something. Because sometimes, boats aren't allowed to go that fast in the water. It hits something powerful enough to destroy the boat. But, the boat isn't comPLETELY destroyed. It just can't fly anymore. Now, the boat sits in the water. The boat's ok. Not flying, but ok. But, sometimes, when certain boats fly through the water, they're attacked or ambushed. Therefore, the boat IS completely destroyed. So, instead of sitting in the water, being ok, the boat sinks. Because it was destroyed. That's simply what happens. When boats get attacked, ambushed, destroyed, they sink. Theycan'thelpitorstopit.
Me, i'm that second boat.

Me and you, Love, everything's gonna be alright.

At 2 AM, God's somewhere in Heaven, sleeping.
At 2 AM, i'm here on Earth, awake.

Between Brick Walls

There's this part inside me, inside my soul, that's DYING to get out. To be free. To be IT again. There's this part of my soul that's me. It's the old me. I miss it dearly. I want to set it free, to let it replace the current disgusting me. Buuuuut, it's stuck. Stuck between brick walls. One is called: confusion. The other: being completely at a loss for what to do.